Day 186 / 179 to go

Here´s the post-mortem of Game 7 of the Nibelungen Open

Please join the following middlegame position and take a moment to evaluate is for yourself: What do you think? Let me warm-up your thoughts with the obvious:  Black´s bishops are almost useless; White enjoys a decent space advantage on the queenside; whereas White`s bishop are also not really big assets (but at least the one on b2 might serve as a defender, especially for e3/f4); Black´s future definitely lies within a kingside-advance and maybe (maybe) it may turn out to be a real attack...

WHATEVER you came up with (on top of my introduction) - would you give White a "solid plus" here?!

1. Well, believe it or not: White is actually holding a solid advantage (of +0.9)! But I simply couldn´t see any of that. One reason: I mis-calculated Ra8, Bc7 - and now Ra7 with Bb8 (attacking my rook): Now I thought I would have to go back to a8 (or somewhere else on the a-file, since the R on a7 was attacked!!!!   8-)    Yes, louzy - since the pawn on b7 is simply hanging - hence, Ra8 can´t be answered with Bc7, since then Ra7 is way too strong!
2. I briefly thought about b6 --- which is actually the reason for the machine to judge the position as 0,9.
   But how to continue? How can I take advantage of the a-file and the miserable bishop on b8? What if Black doesn´t do anything? THIS, even now with the help of the machine, remains very unclear to me...
3. I did - NOT FOR A BLOODY SECOND - consider bxc!  How silly is that??? I control the a-file and could open the b-file! (Actually, the machine consider it necessary for Black to re-take with the B - and not with the pawn!)
4. GHOSTS and DEMONS made me think that I am about to face a heavy thunderstorm on the kingside. Which would be MUCH faster - and anyway absolutely lethal - as any of my queenside-plans.

How louzy! This analysis makes me feel like I didn´t learn anything at all since I started my journey becoming a ChessMonk! (I have to work harder!  I somehow made it up to that position although it was an opening I never played before!  So, in the very end, I wasn´t doing too bad up to that position - now I have to strive for more!)

Ok, let´s move on in the game for just a few more moves - to make my embarresment complete:

Still, White calls a nice edge of 0,5 his own! Now (after Rg8) Black offered a draw - I accepted for the very same reasons why I couldn´t see that I was so much better before: All I saw, were GHOSTS tearing my kingside protection apart leaving me helpless like the rabbit in front of the snake!

But we´re not finished yet! Now comes the best part: Prior to accepting the offer, I calculated Bd3 - with taking on e4 with N + B, so that the d4-pawn can be pushed with check aaaall the way to d6 (attacking the queen and making it really hard for the B on b8 to enter the game)!  YES - I saw it!   But I was simply NOT able to properly evaluate the resulting position! To be really honest, I was only hardly able to count the pieces+pawns of the resulting position! Whatever I would have done now, I twould have left me with a decent edge of 0,4 (Bxe5) up to 0,8 (Qxe4), resulting almost "by force" in the following position (which, however, I wasn´t able to grasp):

White is actually up +1.0 ---  8-/

The game in the morning plus my separation in the back of my mind cost me too much will-power, motivation, self-confidence and resulted heavily in a lack of flow...  8-(
OK OK - we now have some sort of idea WHY I lost (some sort of fatiqueness and a certain lack of focus).  But what does it take not to make that sort of mistake again?

1) First and foremost: I need to recognize this state next time when it overcomes me. (As only when I realize it early enough, I have a chance to react appropriate.)
2) A psychologist might give the advice to start positive thinking (about prior events where I overgame that sort of negativity / about how I will manage to cash the full point after a heavy fight / etc) and might tell me to simply catch some fresh air. The latter can also be read pretty regularly in GM-written books...
3) Especially in cramped positions it is vital to remain cool and be aware of the simplest of all chess rules: Each side is allowed to make only one move at a time!


In addition, please follow me to Game 5 of the Nibelungen Open (which I lost): Up to now, I played an easy set-up, not necessarily the best moves as such - not 100% determined to equalize in terms of reaching a computational 0,00 - allowing my opponent to swing between total equalization and a slight edge of 0,2. But I felt fine and stayed within convenient and familiar positions. I guess it was some sort of flow - not worried too much, allowing to keep a decent time cushion on the clock...
My opponent allowed me to reach the following position - showing a decisive advantage of up to 1.9 for the best and still 1.06 for the 5th best move:

Ok, finding Qb1 is probably up to machines or GMs. Qb3 was my first choice - as it keeps an eye on b2, d3 and - most important - on e6! (The latter, however, slipt my mind at that time.)  Qa5 would have been a nice alternative which I was up to a few moves earlier as it keeps the white Queen away from d2 and - more important - allows to swiftly retreat to d8, covering not only the rook, but attacking f6! (Again, the latter slipt my mind!)
In essence, Black is cleary winning and can almost play "anything" (decent)...

Qb3 or Qa5 were - as a matter of fact, on my shortlist.
However, I decided to go for d5, convinced that the bishop would have to crawl back to g2: I considered the immediate  taking on g6 and concluded (correctly) that it is a no-go. 
After d5, White didn´t think twice and took on f7!   A shock - I didn´t see that one coming at all!
Now I spent ALL my remaining time - which I had plenty of, and took with the rook.  So far so good: It is still a draw! But once more - I saw ghosts and behaved like a rabbit!

I didn´t take the bishop because I considered the resulting checks lethal - a king march trying to reach the save heaven are not working. Rh7 was - according to my logic - not working, because after Kxg6, Qh5, Rh7, Qxg6, I simply faced the thread of Qe8 checkmate!    What I missed was the resource Qa8!   Would I have seen it, I would have played it!   Since I didn´t see it and I recognized that taking on g6 in conjunction with a king-march wouldn´t work --- I went for Rxf6 - recognising that I would be mated. But I made this move because in my thinking/calculation all the alternatives were losing, too...  8-(

I really have to get tactically better - and increase my calculation (both when looking for winning and defending ressources)! Hence, CT-ART 4.0 + Lommer are on the list for the coming training sessions!